Family Teaching Manual - Message 3: Wives, Submit to Your Husbands as unto the Lord

 

Message 3

Wives, Submit to Your Husbands as unto the Lord

Key Texts

 Ephesians 5:22–24; Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1–6; Proverbs 31:10–31

“Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, of which He is the Saviour.” — Ephesians 5:22–23

“Likewise, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the behaviour of their wives.” — 1 Peter 3:1

 

Introduction

Few verses in Scripture are as misunderstood or misused as “wives, submit to your husbands.”
Some have twisted it to justify domination or silence, while others reject it altogether as old-fashioned.
But biblical submission is neither slavery nor suppression — it is spiritual strength expressed through humility, respect, and cooperation under God’s order.

In the Christian home, submission is not about who is superior; it is about honouring God’s design for peace, unity, and love.
A woman’s submission does not make her less valuable — it reveals her inner power to trust and obey God, even when circumstances are imperfect.

 

1 The True Meaning of Submission

The word “submit” (Greek: hupotasso) means to align under or to cooperate within an established order.
It does not mean inferiority; rather, it signifies willing alignment with God’s structure for harmony.

a. Submission Is to the Lord First

• A wife submits as unto the Lord, not merely to please a man but to honour Christ.
• It is an act of faith, not fear.
• When she respects her husband’s leadership, she is serving God through obedience.

b. Submission Is Partnership, Not Slavery

• God created woman as a helper suitable for man (Genesis 2:18).
• A helper is not a servant but a co-builder in God’s plan.
• Submission, therefore, means working together, not working under orders.

c. Submission Is Strength in Quiet Power

• 1 Peter 3:4 praises “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.”
• It takes more strength to stay calm, prayerful, and respectful than to argue endlessly.
• The submissive wife wins peace through inner strength, not weakness.

 

2 Why God Designed Submission in Marriage

God’s order in the family mirrors His divine pattern:

“The head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” — 1 Corinthians 11:3

This hierarchy is not about importance but about function.
Even Christ submitted to the Father, though they are equal in divinity.
So, submission is a divine virtue, not a demotion.

When the wife follows God’s order:

• The home has peace.
• Decisions are made in unity.
• Children see respect modelled and reproduce it in their own relationships.

 

3 The Virtuous Woman: A Portrait of Strength and Grace

Proverbs 31 paints the picture of a godly woman:

• She is industrious (v.13–19)
• She manages her home wisely (v.27)
• She is charitable and kind (v.20, 26)
• Her husband trusts her fully (v.11)

This woman’s submission does not silence her intelligence or gifts; it channels them to bless her household.
Her husband’s heart “safely trusts in her,” because she builds, not breaks.

 

4 What Submission Does Not Mean

It is important to clarify what submission does not mean:

 It does not mean tolerating abuse, violence, or sin.
 It does not mean suppressing your opinions or talents.
 It does not mean losing your identity or dignity.
 It does not mean you agree with wrongdoing.

A godly wife respects her husband, but she obeys God first.
If her husband asks her to do something contrary to Scripture, she must respectfully decline and stand for righteousness (Acts 5:29).

 

5The Fruits of a Submissive Heart

When a woman submits “as unto the Lord,” she becomes:

• Peaceful — because she is guided by trust, not control.
• Influential — her quiet wisdom wins hearts more than arguments.
• Beautiful — her inner calm radiates the grace of God.
• Honoured — even her children rise and call her blessed (Proverbs 31:28).

Submission turns the home from a battlefield into a sanctuary of love.

 

6Practical Ways for Wives to Live Out Submission

 Spiritually: Pray daily for your husband and marriage.
 Emotionally: Show respect, not resentment.
 Verbally: Speak words that encourage and affirm.
 Practically: Cooperate in family decisions instead of competing.
 Socially: Defend your husband’s honour before others.
 Personally: Cultivate gentleness, humility, and patience.

 

7 Practical Applications

For Wives:

• Submission does not silence your voice — it refines your tone.
• Be your husband’s peace, not his pressure.
• Find strength in prayer, not argument.

For Husbands:

• Your wife’s submission is not for exploitation but protection.
• Create an atmosphere of love where submission flows naturally.
• Honour your wife as a co-heir of grace (1 Peter 3:7).

For Couples:

• Replace competition with cooperation.
• Let every disagreement end in prayer, not pride.

 

8 Reflection / Discussion Questions

1. What does “submit as unto the Lord” practically mean for today’s Christian woman?
2. How can submission and strength coexist in the same woman?
3. What are the dangers of misunderstanding biblical submission?
4. How can husbands and wives support each other’s God-given roles?
5. What virtues from Proverbs 31 can modern women imitate today?

 

9 Conclusion

Submission is not a cultural relic — it is a divine key to peace and blessing in the home.
When a wife submits out of love for God, she transforms her house into a temple of harmony.
Her strength lies not in rebellion but in obedient wisdom that honours Christ.

A submissive heart is not weak — it is crowned with grace, power, and favour.

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” — Proverbs 31:26

 

Closing Prayer

In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the gift of family and for the divine order You established in marriage.
Teach wives to submit in love and wisdom, and teach husbands to love with tenderness and honour.
May every home reflect the peace and beauty of Your kingdom.
Grant grace to all who struggle, healing to all who are hurt, and unity to all who seek You.
Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.